Yeah, I don't have that patience either.

Yes, I am in the USA.
No, I don't have anyone dedicated to automotive electrical. I have been trying to find someone who is reasonably priced.
I am OK with electrical. Just OK, and I don't fit in small places anymore.

I am honestly trying to be helpful here, I am almost certain the needed tests could be performed in less time than would be needed to even take your vehicle to someone,

even a guy that weighs 300+ could do what I described

It is possibly/probably something quite simple.

Some/most mechanics are reluctant to work on older vehicles with electrical issues, and I can quite understand why, same reason you and I dont like it, but also the customer does not want to pay them

Unless you can find a mechanic that is well familiar with that make and model

Even then, there is no reason he will not charge you just as much as he wants to, unless you were very nice looking, and female, I would probably estimate high to work on an "old pos"

My friend, who is a specialist auto electrician, and a lovely honest man, his waiting list is weeks long.

He would fix it in a few hours, I dont even know what he charges, but it would be well over $100 ph

UPDATE: I finally gave up and did what I should have done at the beginning! I took it to Auto Zone and had the alternator tested. Guess what?!?! Alternator is bad. What is really weird is that I got a kill switch that mounts to the battery post. Even unscrewed, the switch completes the circuit, but the battery has not drained! Go figure.