Hahaha fooled you. Yea, you will understand soon enough. How many months along is the wife at this point?

 

If you want. I can make fun of you in all of my build threads

 

 

Not too far in. Almost 3 months. Still got time to get things done!

Sounds good!

 

The way I see it im building mine for him to drive in high school lol. So long as I can keep fixing things.

 

Yea, you have a little while yet. Even when your baby is born, you will still have a lot of free time. It’s not like the valve of free time instantly closes. When they are born, it will neck down a little. Since they sleep a lot when they are born. You will have time for other things. It won’t be the same type of free time though. It won’t be for long stretches. The free time will be frequent and short. It’s when they start developing a personality, crawling and eventually walking when the free time valve really closes.

Typically from there, the valve should start to open a little more every once and while. Since the child will eventually become self-sufficient enough that they don’t need to be monitored second by second. I would say I’m at the free time low point, my valve is barely open.

If there is anything i can recommend to you and your wife, as a man who is literally living through it right now, start a routine! Kids love routines and routines mean order! And a byproduct of order is more free time for you (typically). My son is 15 months old and we have had a solid bedtime and bath time since day one. His internal clock is so well calibrated that at about 6:30PM he will actually walk back to the bath tub and wait for you to fill it. So he can get his bath.

To give you an idea of what you may expect for a typical evening since I assume you normally work first shift like me:

I get home around 4 to 4:30, about 20 minutes later the wife and son show up. One person will start dinner. The other watches/plays with Bennett. After dinner, which is usually about 5:45 we will play with him together (important) until 6:30. If hasn’t had an afternoon nap, bath time starts at 6:30. If he has had a nap, bath starts at 6:45. By 7:10 he is in his jammies. He then drinks a small sippy cup of soy milk (he is just about down breast feeding, he also has many food allergies, hence the soy) and then gets his teeth brushed. After that, he gets a kiss goodnight and we put him in his crib. He does not fuss about going to sleep (the byproduct of routine and order). He will cuddle with his stuffed animal and that’s all you hear from him until 6-6:30AM.

Then you come to free time at about 7:30 at night. At that point I’m beat *** tired from the day. Don’t really feel like going out to garage or working on anything too involved. I usually read a book, play video games, play guitar or hang out with my wife. That’s another point to make, make sure you and your wife are still spending quality time together. I know its tempting to want to split ways after the baby is asleep and pursue both of your hobbies in the limited time you have. But maintaining the husband and wife (notice I didn’t say mom and dad) relationship is very important. After all, you are both going to be each other’s rock in all this and the child will benefit from witnessing a strong example of what a successful loving relationship/marriage looks like.

Good luck dude, you got my number if you need it.

 

Thanks for all the pointers! I know its going to be a life changer for sure. Its a good thing that both her family and mine live close so if I really need time to do something, I have a couple free baby sitters! I will be sure to update your contact in my phone from "do not answer" to "baby whisperer" haha.

 

LOL.

Yea my parents and my in-laws live within a 3 mile radius. It’s nice to have a hand for sure.

 

Ehh, I am not quite that lucky. It takes me almost 15 min just to get to the freeway. So the in-laws house is about 20 min away. My parents have 2 houses locally but they are both 30-40 min away in different directions, both in the opposite direction of my work. But I live close to all the trails so that makes up for it!

 

And don’t forget SC Village!

Are you taking baby classes? Those are always fun. Mostly because it’s a self esteem builder. You wouldn’t believe the retards that are going to have children. Listening to all their dumb questions and watching them struggle with the simplest of concerts.

 

Sorry forgot about SC Village! I do need to go there again one of these days.

Nope I have not signed up for any classes. Would not be a bad idea though. Sadly I have never even changed a diaper before. I dont even like holding other peoples babies haha. Not even sure I know how to properly hold a new born! I know it will be different when its my own evil little clone. The class(es) that you took, were they just some random class that you found or is there something through someone like Kaiser that I can look into?

 

The classes were hosted through our local health network here in PA called Wellspan. The classes are really great, they have labor nurses and midwives come in and teach you stuff about baby care. They have you bring in a doll to practice swaddling and diaper changing on. These are also the classes you see in every Hollywood movie about pregnancy where the protagonists learn the breathing excercises.

It was actually my wife’s woman’s health doctor who suggested the classes. I’m not sure how your pregnancy is, but my wife would have like a monthly check-up at the lady doctors. This is when they would do ultra-sounds and what not.

And yea, when you first hold your child it’s a different game. You will never ever look at the world the same. You will see the world from a different angle from then on. I’m not sure how skeemish you are, but witnessing the birth of your child is quite a sobering and life changing experience. I actually started to get on the nurses nerves because I kept asking them if I could poke the placenta. Ha.

The first day home is super overwhelming. It’s odd, you won’t feel like you know what to do. You will stare at your baby and be like “do I feed it, does it want a bath?”. Lol. Just stick to your game plan and routine. If your wife is going to breast feeding, she may need help getting the baby to latch correctly, which you can have a hand in. So there will be plenty to keep you busy the first couple days. Once you get those behind you, your routine can start to settle in and things get a little less hectic.

 

My daughter is only 4 months, but my wife and I work it out pretty well. Unfortunately, I work 3rd shift so she's essentially a stay-at-home mom at night. But my mother in law helps with my daughter during the day so I can get some sleep. I 100% agree with routine, though. If you get a routine started early, its a whole lot easier. Luckily with my wife and I, I still get a little garage time when I get home from work Saturday morning, but I dedicate Saturday evening and all day Sunday with them. Its all about give and take. It takes a little to get it all figured out, but I wouldn't change it for the world. My daughter is the best thing to happen to me. Even at 4 months old, its amazing just watching her and seeing how she reacts to different things.

 

Yep, they are amazing. Good to hear your getting a little time to yourself when you can. Your right it does take time to get it figured out. And just when you get it figured out they learn a new trick that completely changes the game and you’re back at square one . lol

 

Also, since your on the subject of kids here....let me remind you that not all kids are the same. Each have thier own personality and wants/needs. I have 4 kids ages 12, 7, 5 and lastly 3 and all of them do thing different. Similariites in how the first year or so went in each of there lives but once that walking stage kicked in, personailties, etc. its all a guessing game. Routine routine routine is #1 key item just like Curry mentioned. All my kids even to this day have been on a routine for bed time. So they are all getting ready around that 7pm time frame and usually fully sleep around 8pm. That is because they shower, brush teeth, pajamas and then comes reading time for about 30 mins each night. My son who is the oldest 12 going on 13 does get to stay up a little later at times. And then sometimes on the weekend we do allow the girls who are the younger ones stay up but not much past those times that way it does not throw the time clock off.

Kids are amazing and you will learn a lot from them. Stay positive try not to get discouraged and always ask for help if needed. Afterall we all started from square one with no knowledge of how to become a parent. I don't care what anyone says there is no book or science out there to become a parent. You are either in it or not. Sometimes you may need a little more pursuasion but that is expected when your going to be expected a lot from. Your free time will not disappear but when you do have that free time take advantage of it for you and your wife. Sometimes it may be your alone time and then share it together. "Curry" hit the nail on the head in a lot of spots but I just wanted to touch base on the fact of multiple kids if in fact you choose to do so later on.

Last but not least and it may not be something for everyone but if your wife and you decide on a all natural birth I highly recommend the natural water birth with no medication and no IV's or pain meds. My wife and I don't regret any of the births we experienced because sometimes things happen and you just have no choice. We have had both hospital and then birthing center. By far, our expereince in a birthing center was superior than one in a hospital. Nothing is more exciting then watching your baby born naturally and without a million doctors and nurses running around. We gave birth to my youngest daughter at 8pm and by 11:30 pm we were going home. That will never happen in a hospital. Good luck and don't be afraid to ask for help or suggestions.