OP- knowing your budge would help narrow it down, but...
Cheapest: 2" BB w/ zj coils would get ya about 3.5" and a bastard pack out back would be anywhere from 2-4" or so.
Mid range: 3.5" lift kit w/ an aal
Then: 3.5" w/ full leaf pack
Or!: 4.5-6" long arm kit

As for tires: at least 31x10.50 if you go 3.5" lift. 31's so you don't have to trim (much) if ya don't want to.
If ya want 33x10.50 or 33x12.50 tires then you'll want closer to 4.5+ inches of lift and trimming...
BUT!! If you go over 3.5" of lift, be ready for driveline and steering adjustments. The can double the price of the lift install. Idk, man.. My .02

 

My setup.. Still.. Is a 2" BB and 235/75's. I can go places a wrangler with 6" lift, 33x12.50's, and ARB's front and rear can go, so it's not all bad. A locker and some 31x10.50's would help the cause but I wheeled a bunch this summer and kinda like my college experience; it was really fun, I learned some stuff and broke a lot of things that turned out to be kinda expensive... Haha... But I'm serious. Wheeling, unless your definition of wheeling is a dirt road, will cost money. At first it will just be a u joint and an alignment, then it will be upper and lower ball joints, tre's, breaks... The list goes on.. Be ready for the cost associated with a DD and a WW!

 

3" to 3.5" lift is a great number.
Its what I got, I see no reason to go more for myself.
Hunting, fishing, occasional play ride.
its a DD that I and the wife drives everyday.
I'm staying at 235/75's just because I'm getting around 20 mpg
with it.

I do plan to add a Trac-Lok posi unit in the rear and a Spartan locker in the front,
if I ever get caught up on fixing other things around here its on the list todo's.

If I could keep the mpg with 31x10.50's I'd do it.
Lockers/Posi units will get you through more crap than an open diff vehicle.
It would be the first mod to make IMO before lift or even tires/wheels.
Always build from a solid foundation and that should be your foundation.

 

Its an older vehicle so even if you're from a relatively rust free area like m the risk of breaking bolts is always there. You'll need longer brake lines (get 95 yj ones for the front and 96-99 Dakota rear soft line for the back) if you're going 4.5". You'll need an angle grinder and cutting discs for the trimming if you don't have one or access to one. Any metric sockets you don't have. Don't forget an alignment. You'll need one after a lift no matter the size. You can relocate your trac bar but if you go 4.5 inches You may need to purchase an adjustable one shortly after. And tow points. They're even more important than your lift.

 

Man! What a good idea to post here! Very very helpful and please keep the posts coming. Thanks to all that have taken the time to help me. Please don't stop, you guys are on a roll.

 

I say all that but PLEASE dont let it discourage you! Cause lifting your rig yourself and having a custom vehicle is awesome!

 

I just dont want to have to deal with going back and buying extra parts I needed that didnt come in the complete lift.
Ill remember the pb and soak trick though just incase I run into any problems.
Hope that goes well Ill be interested to see how its done.
video would be sweet

 

Yeah pb blaster twice a day for a week will save you some frustration.

 

This
http://rustysoffroad.com/mm5/merchan...ode=sus_xj_kit

or this (upgrade to full leaf packs)
http://roughcountry.com/jeep_xj_3x.html

With these
https://treadwright.com/p-12-31-10-5...d-dog-m-t.aspx

One of these
http://compare.ebay.com/like/2608844...=sbar&_lwgsi=y

And one for the rear but i don't know what axle you have.

 

Ok... is one company better than another as far as lifts go? I'm sure they are... I'm leaning toward a rubicon express 3.5 with full leafs. Will this be a relatively easy lift? Will I run into driveshaft issues like needing to lengthen? I don't want to go too crazy right yet... the jeep only has 55,000 miles on it. I'd like to keep it as unmolested as possible for now, but wanna give it that "capable look"

 

There are better kits out there. From what I'm seeing RE is going the same direction as pro comp.

 

That's because pro- comp owns RE

 

That's what I was guessing.

 

I got lucky and found my 3.5 at the jy 117 invested

 

i have a 93 with 4" full leaf kit in the rear, and 3" pro comp springs with a .75" spacer in the front. its my avatar, BUT, my front has sagged down a half inch, putting me at 3.25 in the front, and 4 in the rear. working on that....but anyway, i put on a 1" rusty's transfer case drop, easy install (if you dont break a bolt like i did) and i have no vibes. i run 31x10.50's, and my 9 year old niece has a hard time getting in....so i would suggest a nerf bar or something if you have little ones gonna be getting in. another thing, if you want larger than 31's, it would be a good idea to regear, cuz with my manuel, im running at 2,000 rpm's at 75 mph. thats just not enough, im constantly in 4th gear on the highway, use 5th for flat ground with no head wind and downhill. if you have 3.55 gears in your jeep, you will probably be fine with 31" tires, but i wouldn't go above that. look at the pics on the 'xj lift and tire set up' thread, and decide how you want yours to sit. you can go up to about 4" if you put a transfer case drop in, but i have heard the newer body styles get vibes sooner than the older body styles. for your uses and what i know, i would throw out 3-3.5" of lift, and 31" tires. also....i had rubbing on my lower control arms, cuz i used stock rims, so rough country makes some 1.5" offset spacers. they are about $130 for 4, but i like my rims. with only 55,000 miles like you said, you SHOULDN'T have to worry about death wobble, not with a 3" lift, but dont come looking for me if you do get it...lol