It was priceless. My Dad almost pee'd his pants from laughing.

You guys get some too!
I was in Texas and someone heard me speaking and asked where I was from.
I said Canada. Immediately the guy said "So you speak French too." like a statement not a question.
I said " umm no. There are about 3 or 4 million that speak French out of 30 million. I'm not one of them." He asked "How come?"
I asked if he spoke Spanish. He replied "Hell no" I pointed out that there were more Mexicans in Texas speaking Spanish than there were French speakers in Canada. I didn't make a new friend that day.


Another time I was in a small Texas town and got to talking with an old timer. He asked how I liked it there. I said I love it but it sometimes is a little hard to understand the accent. He looked me square in the eye and said" Son from where I'm standing, you're the one with the accent!" Made a new friend that day. Still laughing about it today.


If you like my stories ask me to tell you the one about getting a speeding ticket in Texas. I have it framed and hanging on my wall in my office.

 

lmao nice

Yes, more stories!

 

Saskatoon...

 

Daemon seed
Is it a 3 inch lift?

 

Here is another short but funny story.


I drive a big truck Long Haul. I spend a night or 2, two or three times a week in the USA. Coming back into Canada is usually pretty quick as I have the USA FAST (Fast and secure trade) card issued by Homeland Security.
They just scan the paper work and the card and away I go. Sometimes they ask me questions like how long I was gone and did I buy anything.
Must have been a new guy.
Guard: Citizenship?
Me: Canadian
Guard: Where do you live?
Me: London Ontario
Guard: What are you hauling?
Me: Car parts for Honda
Guard: Are you bringing anything personal into the country?
Me: Umm no
Guard: How long do you plan on staying in Canada?
Me: (Dumb look on face)
Guard: How. Long. Do. You. Plan. On. Staying. In. The. Country? (loud like I'm deaf)
Me: Umm err Until I die
Guard: What in the hell do you mean by that! (Now angry and yelling)
Me: I live here. Remember Canadian? London?
Guard: (Blank look on face) Oh Right, I was thinking of the guy before you. Here's your papers. Have a nice day.


All I could think of was no wonder the USA thinks the terrorists came through Canada.


I've figured out how to stop all the nonsense from both US and Canadian border guards. I take control of the conversation before they do. They are expecting people to be on their guard when talking to them and acting timid. Not me!
It's "Hi! How are you doing? Nice weather for a change isn't it?" (or the reverse if it's a crappy day). Throws them right off and I actually get some of them to treat me like another human being. One US guard actual got to talking to me about when he lived in Chattanooga (which is where I was heading). Now every time I see that guard he recognizes me and its a short good conversation.


I'll do the Texas speeding ticket in Word first. It's a long but hilarious story. And it has an 88 XJ in it too!

 

I am in Southwold Ontario just south west of London with some problems on 2 different jeeps (95 Laredo in limp mode) (96 Laredo bad u joints on front axle at the wheels ) stole the coil out of the 96 when the 95 stalled and would start again limping home after I towed the 95 home with the 96 which was just suppose to be a parts jeep ( seeing as I have to drain the fluid to do a transmission swap ) I am going to try swapping the governor pressure solenoid out of the parts jeep ( 96 ) into the 95 transmission first ( easier than a whole transmission swap both are 42re with 242 tc )

 

lmfao. That is awesome. How long have you been driving and what is your rig? I'm just a fan but my brother-in-law and I are headed to Cortland NY to see a pile of old Brockways in August. He used to drive a Pete for Veolia, can't remember who he worked for when he did long haul down to the US.

Damn... sounds like a mess.

42RE? Grand Cherokee ZJs? Not exactly quality transmissions lol

 

well ya gotta do what ya gotta do and these are the first 2 Jeep I have ever owned and the first time I have ever had to fix anything major so any advice or any physical help doing repairs would be great. But don't tell me to scrap them and start over. that is not what getting the jeep was about. it is about fixing things myself. LOL I hope. LOL

 

Well there's your problem. You were in Texas! Most Texans believe that Texas should be it's own nation. Their heads are as big and empty as their state is, haha!

 

The year: 1991
Month:late June
Vehicle:1988 Silver 2 dr Cherokee
Highway: West bound I20
Near: Eastland Texas
I had another day to kill before My Fiancé at the time flew into Dallas to visit her parents. I was already there doing a little searching for a side business I and a couple of buddies had going. We would search out rust free vehicles from the Deep South to bring back to our part of the rust belt, and sell them for profit.
I was cruising along I20 doing about 95 mph. I hadn’t seen another vehicle in either direction for about a half hour.
I looked into my side mirror and saw a small black speck back aways. Hmm, someone else on the road. Looked forward and then noticed something in my peripheral vision.
Holy Crap it is a Texas Ranger Pursuit Mustang with the blue lights flashing. Gotta be me no one else on the road. Slowly pulled over and put jeep in park. Opened up glove box and started to get my papers.
As I was doing this I was also looking out the side mirror. Out pops something from Walker, Texas Ranger, and the show haden’t even aired yet..
I’ll start at the bottom. Cowboy boots with Silver toe caps and honest to god Spurs!
Blue jeans held up by a belt buckle that looked like it had escaped from a Buick.
Two, yes two Pearl handled six shooters. A Jean shirt with a Texas Star above the left pocket. And he was putting on the biggest Cowboy hat I’d ever seen. Later learned it’s called a 10 gallon hat.
All this on a guy maybe 160 lbs soaking wet and about 5’ 6” tall.
I’m going WTF!? And I actually started to look for hidden cameras in the bushes. Alan Funk better not be around.
I had my window down and my hands on the wheel now. He looks in and then looks at me ands says “ Don’t you stop for blue lights? I said “Not where I come from” He says “Why not?” I said “because they are on Snow Plows” Now he’s pissed. “Are you making fun of me?” Like he needed my help. I said “ No Seriously, I’m from Canada and our snowplows have blue lights” He gives me the evil eye which is funny because it’s right level with mine sitting in my Cherokee. Now he goes “ Do you have a medical reason for driving that fast?” Me (Still in smart *** mode) Umm well if I don’t get back to Dallas on time to pick up my Fiancé, I’m dead meat!” He actually starts chuckling at that.
He goes “Papers” I hand them to him and off he goes to his 5.0 Pursuit Mustang.
Now a whole half hour goes by with us sitting on the side of the highway. Nobody and I really mean nobody has driven past us in either direction.
Finally he walks back to me and says” I don’t know what to do with you. You’re from a different country. You’re going to have to come with me.” WHHHHHAAATTTT!?!?!?
I’m seriously crapping my pants. I go to get out of the jeep and he tells me “no just follow me”
Back into the mustang and Zooom right across the meridian of I20 and starts hauling *** back east. Hey at least I have a jeep! I had to get up to 100 Mph to not lose him.
Now all those horror stories of a friend of a friend that got pulled over in some poor state and was never heard from again are going through my mind.
My Cherokee was a company vehicle and it had one of the first cell phones in it. A big black box taking up most of the cargo space and a handset near the ebrake handle.
I’m phoning everyone I know in Texas and back home to let them know where I am so if they don’t hear from me again they know where to start looking.
Sooo we finally pull into this little town. I pull up beside Officer Jose Salenas. (Yep that’s his name) and ask him why we were driving so fast. He says “Because I can” with a big grin. Into the court house we go right up to the judge. Must have been a really slow day. They whisper to each other while the court steno is looking at me like “Oohhh Fresh Meat!” Man I’m getting the ******* standing here. Finally the Judge asks me ”Were you really going that fast?” I said “Yes your honor” He asks why and I said I had no real reason other than there was no one around. He barks a Hrmph and says “$65 Got it on you?” I said “No but I have plastic on me” He says they don’t take that but the bank down the street does. I ask him if they are going to trust me to go to the bank and come back. He says” Son with those Ontario plates you’re pretty easy to spot! Oh and don’t speed there and back!”
I’ve got the cash and on my way in no time. BACK TO DALLAS. I can’t ever remember driving 65 miles an hour so fast in my life.
I told my partners that I didn’t find anything out that way and next trip we’d try somewhere further north.

 

Been Driving almost my whole life on and off. First job at 17 was hauling a computer from Detroit to Montreal. Took 5 trips. And yes I'm that old
I'm just a temp driver now so I have whatever piece of shyt they send my way nowadays. I am partial to the Volvo's. I hear a lot of moaning and groaning but I have never driven a more comfortable truck

 

Yes they can be blowhards but I think every state province and country has that. And actually of all the US states it is the only one that was really it's own country before joining the USA. It was The Republic of Texas!


I may make fun of them but I really do love Texans.
I have been a lot of places around the world but for down right friendly they can't be beat. Well ok the Irish and Newfies have them beat but they are a razor thin close second!


Ohh Ohh reminds me of another time when I sold 10 Canadian one dollar coins(Know as the Loonie) to a bar full of Texans at $20 a piece. They were brand new and look like gold. When asked how come they were worth $20 I said that the coin only says "Dollar" on it because Gold fluctuates and today they were worth $20 but tomorrow they could be worth $30. I have that town circled on my maps and marked "DO NOT APPROACH".

 

Only reason I say that is because when I was in the military every Texan I met was exactly the same. Usually very friendly but if any topic came up that could be remotely related to Texas they were sure to let you know about it, and of course, Texas was better at it. Hahaha

 

Im from Olds, Alberta

 

Nice!

Good spot for the block heater cord. Mine came through the front with a dislocated grille lol