Seems like anytime I go over a big bump the steering wheel becomes real loose and shakes around at the time. Any ideas?

Had this happen in a dodge 2500 once. Every time I hit a bump or went across a bridge it did that and it was excessively worn ball joints

Could be several things. Wheel joints are always suspect, tie rod/ends, track bar any and all bushings. Could need new parts and/or alignment.

what's your setup? are you lifted?

track bar is major suspect here.

Stock everything.

Track bar bushings. Wheel pressure/balance. Get an alignment done

Always post the year/engine.

Search for "death wobble".

If the wobble you feel is serious enough that you crap your pants, you have "death wobble"! It is NOT uncommon with the XJ; I'm working on it with my 99 right now.

Sounds like your front end is worn out, most likely the track bar but could be any of the joints.

5 bucks say its sway bar end links

I'll take that bet! I bet it's either the track bar or alignment

My money is on "we don't know". There are common culprits, but there are many unique situations and combinations of hardware causing death wobble. What caused one person's death wobble may or MAY NOT be the root cause of the next. Don't assume anything here.
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My understanding of “death wobble” is this. Somewhere in the vehicle, one or more components is worn beyond tolerances, and when oscillation initiates from a suspension “traumatic” event or when a vibration reaches a certain point and harmonic at a certain speed, it causes the other components to react. It is called the “multiplier effect”, where one component affects one or more other components as the event travels through the system.

Death wobble is not uncommon with the XJ. It is even more common with a lifted XJ. Finding the worn component or components is not always easy. It can sometimes be downright difficult. Sometimes it’s obvious, other times everything appears to be okay when you perform an inspection on a hoist, but getting the vehicle up in the air and going over everything with a fine tough comb is always a good first step. It is very helpful if you know or have a technician that knows how to perform a comprehensive inspection.

Possible causes of DEATH WOBBLE are listed below. Isolating death wobble is a process of elimination and the root cause is not always obvious.

Note: It can oftentimes be due to a combination of things!

Check out this link if you want extensive reading on “death wobble” causes and cures.
From my research, Kevin is among the sharpest with tracking down root cause of death wobble. He does offer some hardware for sale that can help resolve death wobble, but even if you don’t buy any parts from him, you can still get some good ideas on what to look at in resolving your wobble.

http://www.kevinsoffroad.com/how-to-...-death-wobble/
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-Front tires out of balance (try swapping fronts to rear; see if symptoms change)
-Tire pressure. Don’t laugh. It’s not a root cause but can exaggerate the problem. Experiment with lower tire pressure to see if it helps
-Improper lug nut torque on wheels
-Front alignment out of spec
-Loose track bar
-Worn track bar bushings
-Worn track bar end
-Bad bushings/joints in control arms
-Worn/damaged steering stabilizer (not generally a cause in and by itself)
-Worn/damaged shocks
-Worn/damaged tie rod end
-Bad U Joint
-Bad ball joint
-Loose frame mount
-Steering box loose
-Bad front hub assembly

Use the information above. One of those components or problems is causing your death wobble.

Now, if you are feeling brave, when you hit a bump and it starts doing it again, stick your head out of the window and look at your front tire so you can really see what's going on. You'll **** yourself

There are some vids on YouTube both onboard underneath and from bystander view of death wobble. Crazy **** for sure.

How in the world would sway bar end links cause this problem? lol, guess mine should be totaled by now for not having any sway bar end links for over a year.