Lost a Moderator today... RIP good buddy...
Seasoned Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 369
Likes: 0
From: Southern oregon
Year: 1987
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 89 4.0l swap
Wow...I've been gone apparently too long...there are no words to express the sadness...I'd rep a sticker in his honor, though, without a doubt.
Seasoned Member
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 454
Likes: 0
From: Camp Lejeune, NC
Year: 1993
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0 HO
CF Veteran
Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 2,328
Likes: 1
From: Minnesota
Year: 1999
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0
I would like to say a few words,
I knew Brian, 96_XJ, from the forums and i have never met him in person, but he was one of those guys i regularly communicate with and I have had the chance to know his open and juvenile character and spirit, a guy who demonstrated much more maturity despite his young age, a loyal and generous friend always willing to help and with a healthy passion for the mechanical arts.
I want to remember him for all the funny posts and the innumerable pictures he shared with us, always with a smile, a guy by the sound principles, a sportsman, a talented student with an infinite curiosity for everything that was tought to him on the forums and in life. His beloved jeep cherokee that he built and modified piece after piece, always on the budget that led him to do the most of the work on his own, like a real built jeep should be, I want to think that he chose his jeep as the final place to commit this desperate act because it was the only place where he could feel understood, his only real friend. I am sure that if this mass of cold steel could have spoken it would have screamed and squeaked its junctions in an attempt to stop him from what he was doing, just as i screamed in my jeep while I drove home after work today.
While I remember him with affection, at the same time a feeling of anger grows like a monster in me and I begin to question myself how this could possibly have happened, to look for who or what has led him to commit this terrible act, directing it towards those that were around him and did not notice the slightest sign of a hidden pain, towards this screwed up society that did not give him the certainty of a purpose in life, towards the system that permitted him to get hold of the weapon he directed against him, towards the people who knew and did not do anything. I can't find an answer, but i know for sure that there is someone out there with blood on his hands because such a lively spirit as the one of Brian Perrine, 21 years old, is not extinguished by itself.
Brian, rest in peace and forgive us for not having perceived your pain, you will continue to live in our thoughts whenever we look at our rigs and we will never forget you.
A fellow jeeper.
I knew Brian, 96_XJ, from the forums and i have never met him in person, but he was one of those guys i regularly communicate with and I have had the chance to know his open and juvenile character and spirit, a guy who demonstrated much more maturity despite his young age, a loyal and generous friend always willing to help and with a healthy passion for the mechanical arts.
I want to remember him for all the funny posts and the innumerable pictures he shared with us, always with a smile, a guy by the sound principles, a sportsman, a talented student with an infinite curiosity for everything that was tought to him on the forums and in life. His beloved jeep cherokee that he built and modified piece after piece, always on the budget that led him to do the most of the work on his own, like a real built jeep should be, I want to think that he chose his jeep as the final place to commit this desperate act because it was the only place where he could feel understood, his only real friend. I am sure that if this mass of cold steel could have spoken it would have screamed and squeaked its junctions in an attempt to stop him from what he was doing, just as i screamed in my jeep while I drove home after work today.
While I remember him with affection, at the same time a feeling of anger grows like a monster in me and I begin to question myself how this could possibly have happened, to look for who or what has led him to commit this terrible act, directing it towards those that were around him and did not notice the slightest sign of a hidden pain, towards this screwed up society that did not give him the certainty of a purpose in life, towards the system that permitted him to get hold of the weapon he directed against him, towards the people who knew and did not do anything. I can't find an answer, but i know for sure that there is someone out there with blood on his hands because such a lively spirit as the one of Brian Perrine, 21 years old, is not extinguished by itself.
Brian, rest in peace and forgive us for not having perceived your pain, you will continue to live in our thoughts whenever we look at our rigs and we will never forget you.
A fellow jeeper.
i knew brian from the day he first posted in my build thread and asked me a question on his jeep..waay before he was a mod. i remember the day he flopped his xj and just laughed it off. i havent logged on here in awhile due to work and school but when i saw RIP 96_xj in someone's sig, i thought "that's weird, someone has the same screen name as brian?"
RIP man, truly will be missed.
Cherokee Forum Vendor
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,177
Likes: 1
From: Montreal, Canada
Year: 2000
Model: Cherokee
Engine: V6 4L
I didn't know Brian personally nor did I really talked to him on the forum, but from the few times he posted on my threads I could easily tell he was a super nice guy always looking to help. Your knowledge and kind heart will be missed bud. R.I.P.
CF Veteran
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 5,482
Likes: 25
From: Virginia Beach by way of Michigan
Alright guys, here is the sticker I made for Brian. It's free for everyone to use. Just save the image, take it to a local print shop, and have them make a sticker out of it. Should be pretty inexpensive. I'm hoping to have mine made by Friday.
CF Veteran
Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 2,103
Likes: 3
From: Las Vegas, NV
Year: 1995
Engine: 4.0L
It's so hard to understand the reasoning behind suicide. But I'll be honest, in the past I've had my own suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, I never tried acting upon them.
For me, the thoughts started about 4 years ago, and really only lasted about 2 years. The thoughts were never because anybody did me wrong. I just felt like I was not fit for this world. I felt like a burden to my loved ones. I felt like I wasn't a good enough son, brother, or friend. I would think to myself: "I could do this world a favor and drive off a mountain road and down a cliff". It's not anything anybody ever said to me, it's just how I felt. There is no explanation as to why I felt that way.
It's interesting what somebody said earlier about wondering if Brian killed himself in his Jeep because that's the one place he felt like himself, where he felt happy. For me, my thoughts of suicide centered around my Jeep. It's where I felt happiest. I would wonder about driving off a mountain road, running into a tree at 80mph, even sitting in a closed garage with the motor running.
I never felt I wasn't loved. In fact, I felt like my family and friends loved me too much. I didn't feel like I deserved their love. I felt useless, like a burden. I felt like killing myself would make their lives easier.
I made sure I never showed any sign of my depression, though. I pretended to be just as happy as I could be. To this day, my friends and family don't know about my dark thoughts.
I just want Brian's friends, family, and CF family to know that it wasn't that anybody did anything to him. I don't want his family and friends feeling like they didn't show their love for him enough. He knew he was loved. He also may not have shown any signs of any depression. He knew he was loved and cared about. It's very sad that he decided his life wasn't worth living. I can understand it, but it doesn't make it any less sad.
Of course, I am just speaking of my own unique experiences, so I could be completely off base. But I felt like I should share this.
For me, the thoughts started about 4 years ago, and really only lasted about 2 years. The thoughts were never because anybody did me wrong. I just felt like I was not fit for this world. I felt like a burden to my loved ones. I felt like I wasn't a good enough son, brother, or friend. I would think to myself: "I could do this world a favor and drive off a mountain road and down a cliff". It's not anything anybody ever said to me, it's just how I felt. There is no explanation as to why I felt that way.
It's interesting what somebody said earlier about wondering if Brian killed himself in his Jeep because that's the one place he felt like himself, where he felt happy. For me, my thoughts of suicide centered around my Jeep. It's where I felt happiest. I would wonder about driving off a mountain road, running into a tree at 80mph, even sitting in a closed garage with the motor running.
I never felt I wasn't loved. In fact, I felt like my family and friends loved me too much. I didn't feel like I deserved their love. I felt useless, like a burden. I felt like killing myself would make their lives easier.
I made sure I never showed any sign of my depression, though. I pretended to be just as happy as I could be. To this day, my friends and family don't know about my dark thoughts.
I just want Brian's friends, family, and CF family to know that it wasn't that anybody did anything to him. I don't want his family and friends feeling like they didn't show their love for him enough. He knew he was loved. He also may not have shown any signs of any depression. He knew he was loved and cared about. It's very sad that he decided his life wasn't worth living. I can understand it, but it doesn't make it any less sad.
Of course, I am just speaking of my own unique experiences, so I could be completely off base. But I felt like I should share this.
CF Veteran
Joined: Apr 2008
Posts: 3,569
Likes: 2
From: Wisconsin
Year: 1996
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0 HO
Senior Member
Joined: Apr 2011
Posts: 513
Likes: 0
From: Calvert County MD
Year: 1984
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 2.5 L 4cyc
I too have had the thoughts n acted on them but survived n have grown from it. Its hard cause the lonely feelings n emptiness are over consuming . You feel like it hopeless n no point. None of my friends have ever know and always been surprised. I now help with a suicide help group. I hear the same thing over n over it's hard n the happiest people have the hardest time but please I can't stress this enough talk listen n above all else care that helps so much n can save a life
Resident Pirate
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 3,877
Likes: 3
From: Orlando-Chickamauga
Year: 2001
Model: Cherokee
Engine: 4.0
It's so hard to understand the reasoning behind suicide. But I'll be honest, in the past I've had my own suicidal thoughts. Fortunately, I never tried acting upon them.
For me, the thoughts started about 4 years ago, and really only lasted about 2 years. The thoughts were never because anybody did me wrong. I just felt like I was not fit for this world. I felt like a burden to my loved ones. I felt like I wasn't a good enough son, brother, or friend. I would think to myself: "I could do this world a favor and drive off a mountain road and down a cliff". It's not anything anybody ever said to me, it's just how I felt. There is no explanation as to why I felt that way.
It's interesting what somebody said earlier about wondering if Brian killed himself in his Jeep because that's the one place he felt like himself, where he felt happy. For me, my thoughts of suicide centered around my Jeep. It's where I felt happiest. I would wonder about driving off a mountain road, running into a tree at 80mph, even sitting in a closed garage with the motor running.
I never felt I wasn't loved. In fact, I felt like my family and friends loved me too much. I didn't feel like I deserved their love. I felt useless, like a burden. I felt like killing myself would make their lives easier.
I made sure I never showed any sign of my depression, though. I pretended to be just as happy as I could be. To this day, my friends and family don't know about my dark thoughts.
I just want Brian's friends, family, and CF family to know that it wasn't that anybody did anything to him. I don't want his family and friends feeling like they didn't show their love for him enough. He knew he was loved. He also may not have shown any signs of any depression. He knew he was loved and cared about. It's very sad that he decided his life wasn't worth living. I can understand it, but it doesn't make it any less sad.
Of course, I am just speaking of my own unique experiences, so I could be completely off base. But I felt like I should share this.
For me, the thoughts started about 4 years ago, and really only lasted about 2 years. The thoughts were never because anybody did me wrong. I just felt like I was not fit for this world. I felt like a burden to my loved ones. I felt like I wasn't a good enough son, brother, or friend. I would think to myself: "I could do this world a favor and drive off a mountain road and down a cliff". It's not anything anybody ever said to me, it's just how I felt. There is no explanation as to why I felt that way.
It's interesting what somebody said earlier about wondering if Brian killed himself in his Jeep because that's the one place he felt like himself, where he felt happy. For me, my thoughts of suicide centered around my Jeep. It's where I felt happiest. I would wonder about driving off a mountain road, running into a tree at 80mph, even sitting in a closed garage with the motor running.
I never felt I wasn't loved. In fact, I felt like my family and friends loved me too much. I didn't feel like I deserved their love. I felt useless, like a burden. I felt like killing myself would make their lives easier.
I made sure I never showed any sign of my depression, though. I pretended to be just as happy as I could be. To this day, my friends and family don't know about my dark thoughts.
I just want Brian's friends, family, and CF family to know that it wasn't that anybody did anything to him. I don't want his family and friends feeling like they didn't show their love for him enough. He knew he was loved. He also may not have shown any signs of any depression. He knew he was loved and cared about. It's very sad that he decided his life wasn't worth living. I can understand it, but it doesn't make it any less sad.
Of course, I am just speaking of my own unique experiences, so I could be completely off base. But I felt like I should share this.
This is a sore spot for me. I had/have a similar situation, its not fun and luckily my parents recognized it when i was young and got me help, i know i was lucky but it doesnt make it any easier hearing about it happening to others, i hope they find that it was an accident, but whatever the case may be we lost a good guy. If anybody makes stickers and would be willing to give me one or two i would greatly appreciate it.