I have rebuilt an old 4.0 1996 motor for my xj and am ready to install the thing, but I have to pull the old one first. I can't seem to get the two top bolts that attach the transmission to the engine out. They are star head bolts, plus I can't seem to get to them, or get them to turn. Does anyone have any advice? I have tried searching this one to death and am coming up empty.

Yes, they are a PITA to get out. First thing you should do is make sure the socket you have fits well. I don't remember the exact size but I think it's like a 7/16" or 12mm. Then you'll need a bunch of extensions- about 2-2 1/2 feet worth. You'll gain access to them from under the truck, so make sure you have it well secured.
And if at all possible, get someone to help you- it best when someone can help line up the socket with the bolt head and maybe help keep it in place while you break them loose.

Iirc, it's a 12 point 13mm socket or wrench.

hmm, havnt had any e torx(star) bolts on any of the jeeps I've worked on. wierd.

they have e torx sockets at harbor freight for around 10 bucks.

The top 2 bolts I had to get at from the top of the engine, reaching around the cyl head, with a few open end wrenches. Was not easy but I got em. It would also help to lower the trans corssmember first for some more clearance just make sure to undo motor mounts and any short plugs/hoses first!

Oh is he calling a 12pt bolt head a star? when people say stat they usually mean e torx.

You need an E12 socket or wrench. You will strip them otherwise.

I was afraid I'd have to drop the transmission. My brother and rebuilt the engine in a flash. We got to these bolts and are just stuck. All of the comments are tremendously helpful. I'll go to harbor freight to pick up the correct sockets. Thank you guys