I found mine when I was wondering what that flat thing was at the bottom....when tried to remove it, I saw wiring attached, so concluded it must do something lol. Although is has a function sending info about batt temp to the ECU apparently, I sincerely doubt its acuracy...

 

It's seems to only start when I put it in N first then park

 

NSS

 

That suggests that your neutral safety switch (NSS) is not functioning like it should, likely clogged up on the inside, preventing good contacts.
You can try and clean it out, there are several write ups on the net (and here), just do a search. Getting the NSS of the shaft is usually the issue, soack it for some days in penetrating oil/PB blaster. And take your time. If this doesn't work, replace the whole NSS.

 

That makes sense because my tail lights don't work

 

Your tail lights or reverse lights don't work?

 

Reverse lights I meant

 

Now that makes sense.

 

Is it a two man job or can I do it on my own? I don't really kno to much about the trans

 

The NSS is a strictly a one man job there's simply no room for more lol
No worries, this thing lives on the outside, not the inside of the trans!

Not difficult, as I said just take your time and have a look at a write-up