Alright, today was magic smoke and the engine going dead day.
The story so far: get on highway ramp to get to work. Doing about 50 up the ramp and my tac drops flat, engine dies (no clattering or anything) I leave a massive white cloud and my engine bay is full of the same cloud for a few seconds before it goes away as well. No rod holes or fluids. Battery is hot to the touch. Oil is clean. Can't restart. Attempting to crank gets you about 4 clicks and then the electrical system dies for about 30 seconds to a minute and then comes back.
Suggestions?

 

Blew a head gasket? Or perhaps your serpentine belt let go, leaving you with no alternator or water pump.

 

no sign of mixed fluids and it recently had a new head installed back around november. Serpentine belt is still attached and when the electrical system comes back from being "temporarily dead" it reads 12 volts on the console gage and 12.2 on the test gage in the auxiliary outlet.

 

Is your coolant level still full in both the radiator and radiator and overflow bottle?

 

Aye, still full and no discoloration either.

 

Well ****, now I'm stumped. When you crank it, does it feel like there's normal compression? The electrical system issue could be due to a bad ground (check the battery connectors), but I'm scratching my head how that would have resulted in the white smoke.

 

Transmission fluid makes white smoke. Check the lines.

 

And how about some error codes.

 

Yea, feels like normal compression still for the short period. Have a feeling I'm going to be pulling the plugs after work and doing a balloon test on it.

 

No codes so far. And no CEL before or after this incident.

 

Any melted wires? Hot battery and electrical issues make me wonder did something badly short out.