Dad jokes thread.

Old 08-15-2018, 12:44 PM
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Default Dad jokes thread.

Title is pretty self explanatory but to clear confusion. This thread is about dad jokes (bad jokes) you know the kind that make you shake your head in disappointment while still smiling. You don't have to be a dad to submit we are very inclusive.

I'll start off with one of my own creation.

Hmhm...
What dance is done with mathematical precision by former Vice President and environmentalists Al Gore?

(Wait for it)

The algorithm!

Get it Al Gore rhythm?

Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.
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Old 08-15-2018, 01:06 PM
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what do you call a hill full of cats.....


a Meow-tain
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Old 08-15-2018, 04:31 PM
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What did the dog say when he walked across the sand paper?

rough rough

What did Santa say to the three blondes on the corner?

Ho ho ho
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Old 08-15-2018, 05:24 PM
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Why couldnt the Stormtrooper find the droids he was looking for?

Because he was looking in Alderaan places.
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Old 08-15-2018, 08:18 PM
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What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?


SUPPLIES!!!!!
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Old 08-15-2018, 08:46 PM
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What's that black stuff between the elephant's toes? Slow natives.

What did Tarzan say when he heard the elephants coming? "Here come the elephants!"

How does an elephant climb a tree? He sits on an acorn and waits for it to grow.

Why did the elephants stampede? They just saw Mickey Mouse!

AND it goes on and on!
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Old 08-15-2018, 08:50 PM
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What do you do when you "assume" anything? You make an *** out of you and me.
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Old 08-21-2018, 01:42 AM
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Default Not a joke but funny truth

About 20 years ago when my son was about 5, we were wrestling around , he paused a moment and said" what's that on your head? " i said my hair. He said " no in between your hairs. " The wife busted out laughing. My hair was thining. .
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Old 09-05-2018, 09:30 PM
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Why did Rivendell drop out of the middle-earth brick building competion?

Because they were Legolas.


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Old 09-06-2018, 06:01 AM
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"Lets go dad!"
"Wait! Let me check to see if I'm ready. Spectacles, *********, watch and wallet! Okay, I'm ready!"

Driving down the road, my dad would put his hand on top of my head. When I gave him a funny look, he'd say "Sign says stop ahead."

Last edited by dave1123; 09-06-2018 at 06:03 AM.
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Old 09-26-2018, 10:24 AM
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What's the difference between a Tuna fish, Super Glue, and a player piano?

You can tuna piano, but you can't play a fish.

What about the Super Glue?

Dammit! Everyone always gets stuck on that part ...
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Old 09-26-2018, 03:16 PM
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fee fi foe foe fi fee fee ....Mike Tysons phone number
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Old 09-26-2018, 05:15 PM
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I recently had to fire my masseuse. She just rubbed me the wrong way.
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Old 09-26-2018, 05:41 PM
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I could’ve swore that the title was “Bad Jokes Thread” hence the bad joke I posted. My dad or bad!
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Old 09-26-2018, 09:49 PM
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Originally Posted by DJKnightmare View Post
What's the difference between a Tuna fish, Super Glue, and a player piano?

You can tuna piano, but you can't play a fish.

What about the Super Glue?

Dammit! Everyone always gets stuck on that part ...
REO Speedwagon "You can play a piano but you can't tuna fish"
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