finneys98xj

Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly. Like fine single-malt scotch, it's rare. In fact, it's even rarer than single-malt scotch. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-oholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello????

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food .


7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don' t like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, you have to have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

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RIP Heep!1998-2008)
Her last stand!
http://www.cherokeeforum.com/showthr...3996#post83996

Her Replacement.
http://www.cherokeeforum.com/f46/big-stinky-9651/


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I rather be Stroked than Rammed and I dont do Bowties!

BlueXJ

Rules to live by alien.

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finneys98xj

The only rules to live by, maybe thats why i weight 320lbs.

__________________
RIP Heep!1998-2008)
Her last stand!
http://www.cherokeeforum.com/showthr...3996#post83996

Her Replacement.
http://www.cherokeeforum.com/showthread.php?t=9651


www.cherokeetalk.com
Tell them finney98xj sent you.

I rather be Stroked than Rammed and I dont do Bowties!

nick_n_ii

Sucks to be me, I'm on a vegetarian diet this year...

And i don't want to break the diet, I'm down 2" in the waste and 30 lbs..

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the gimp

im a very happy 230 lb gimp....of course doc says if i dont start eatin better im looking at problems.....but i love fried anything


the easyiest diet i ever did was not drinking soda for a while

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"GIMP"........KING OF ONELEGGERS EVERYWHERE

BlueXJ

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